#jason ur bi gdi

[whywasthissohardtomake]

damn. Hes been home for nine months?? My lord. (Also i finished book 4 woot woot!!)

terrence oh my god. “Id be the creamy filling in that sandwich” my lord bro.

i wanna make a post about jasons romantic entanglements at some point & maybe all of his trauma but that one i have less concrete thoughts about.

oh lord. Jason ur trauma is still valid even though you didn’t lose people. You did your best and you literally couldn’t have done more. It is not your fucking fault that people died. It isn’t. It really isn’t. And just because you’ve kept your family safe, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Oh my god buddy. This is gonna do some bad things to you. And you dont even have any time to recover 😭😭😭

ALSO WHAT THE FUCK DAWN?? Dont tell the grieving, guilt-stricken man that he just needs more power in order to change things. Literally every time it’s reinforced that he needs to get stronger i worry so deeply for this man. I feel like hes gonna feel more and more guilty as he gets stronger but still can’t change everything he wants to. Because no one’s strong enough to fix everything ever and also still be a person. Jason would be so divorced from who he is now, would he even carry the same morals? He’d still care about life of course, but what would he be willing to do to get his way, in order to save as many people as he can? I’m so worried for this maaaasn. Auuurgh.

also i miss clive terribly. Give me clive back. Jason consistently thinking of clive out of everyone is so cute. Like “my bestie would be so helpful in this crisis” wistful sigh “sucks that hes in a different universe and thinks im dead.”

anyway, as always, pls no spoilers!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

:D happy to be here!! This fandom needs more people smh. Yall r so friendly & the books r great (im not biased i promise)

I can’t believe we have our very own liveblogger now. Our baby fandom is growing up 🥲 so proud!

@whywasthissohardtomake

[whywasthissohardtomake]

everyone becoming more attractive at higher ranks is kinda weird. Especially as it changes bone structure. But they are just like sacks of magic. I wonder if their new bodies r actually taking into account what the person themself finds attractive or wants to change in a subconscious manner. Beauty is extremely subjective and cultural/societal in nature. What one person may find attractive, someone else wouldnt give a second glance. Yes there’s symmetry, but most other things r subjective & get too symmetrical & ur edging into uncanny valley territory.

anyway, is this why jason’s chin is less pointy? Because everyone tells him its ugly? & is neil slimmer because people called him fat? Questions questions.

Anyway, as always, pls no spoilers! (I think i forgot this little tag on my other post lol)

[whywasthissohardtomake]

oh my god. Devere casually rewriting history so GoT ended well & Hillary was president isntead of bill. My lord.

wait fuck asya kaito & greg are dead?? Wait wait what oh fuck oh no oh no. Oh my god oh gfyxk oh no

[whywasthissohardtomake]

The fact that jason escaped before any of his friends could find him is very sad to me. Hes gonna downplay his experience so fucking much. His friends wont believe him but hes sure gonna try.

jason whyre u noticing how beautiful humphreys smile is & that women would fawn over it. This is not very straight behavior. Also why do they never hug?? Humphrey hug this man. Dont just clap him on the shoulder. I remember theyd gone thru something terrible or they hadnt seen each other for a while (i think both but i dont actually remember the event) & they shook hands!! They shook hands!! They shouldve hugged. Jason needs more hugs & im standing by that. Garys doing the lords (me ig in this case) work by hugging jason when he sees him.

stash!!! Also doing the lords work givingjason hugs!!

jason lying to himself & everyone else while his body betrays him by nearly falling down. I honestly believe he was probably in shock immediately after that whole ordeal because he thought he was doing fine but then when everything actually was fine, he started not doing so hot.

also gary & rufus recognizing what jason’s going thru & being like god thats gonna hit him hard later because of what happened at the vane estate is so sweet. I love them.

as always, pls no spoilers!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

okay with @evilphrog’s lovely help with descriptions, here are some assorted clive doodles! (Im still working him out but i quite like some of them.)

Ignore that these are in my spanish textbook & on a spanish ws respectively.

also!! Idk if this is true but doesnt clive have like a bunch of runes on him? Because yknow when onslow goes into him im pretty sure hes a rune and i feel like i remember there being a couple more but i dont actually remember.

also also, i was in class while doodling these so i couldnt look up references for what robes look like (they r weird shapeless blobs in my mind)

[whywasthissohardtomake]

I notice you take art requests. Do you by chance take art requests for hwfwm characters yet?

hmmm this is a good question. I wouldnt say i have an awesome grasp of how to draw them. Ig if u described them for me?? Cause i dont remember some of their features & im scared to look them up for fear of spoilers.

Like okay so jason is thin, leanly-muscled & pretty sharp around the face shape. Hes half-Japanese & has black hair that is luscious but idk if its straight or wavy (probably not curly? I feel like thatd be mentioned). Id probs go with straight for most of my designs.

Clive is lanky & looks like most Greenstone people i think. So dark olive skin & black wavy hair. But what length. I always picture him with glasses but actually his eyesight would be perfect (id probs give him magic ones cause he can use magic items even tho it doesnt say that within text.)

idk why i just started describing them. Thats not helpful for this ask 😭😭😭. Im so ramble based.

what im trying to say is that for most characters id need a description of them cause i dont remember what they look like very well. Especially hair types. If ur willing to provide that id be happy to draw them!

(also because this ask got me kind of in an art mood here are some preliminary designs for those who i had some sort of idea for)

Im kinda rusty sorry lol

[whywasthissohardtomake]

MY FUCKING GOD JASON!! YOU PROTECTED A WHOLE VILLAGE!! TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLEMENT!!

this probably at least partially is because as a child people didnt like him & viewed him as an inferior version of his older brother & no one ever challenged that notion. So his accomplishments are inferior to everyone elses even if they did the exact same thing. But urghhhh jason!! U deserve to be celebrated by ur team!! You did good!!! My lord. Sigh.

[whywasthissohardtomake]

OH FUCK. ASIAO IS A TRAITOR. SHE IS. IF IM WRONG YKNOW TAKE ME OUT BACK AND SHOOT ME BUT OH MY GOD RIGHT NOW IM SO CERTAIN (jason just got booted from the network)

here’s my evidence:

Honeypot as an option from the beginning

gladis saying “oh, you did go with the honeypot option”

her bracelet. Can’t tell if she’s lying

this is the second or third time shes said she hasnt/wouldnt betray jason

jason’s being traumatized left and right at this moment. It wouldnt be surprising at all if we then doubled down on his unhealed romantic betrayal trauma.

there was another one but i cant remember it 😭

anyway, yeah. If im wrong, uh oops 🙂‍↕️. But if im right oh fuck oh no. Jason oh buddy oh no.

As always, pls no spoilers (yall are fantastic at not even accidentally spoiling me, so thank you so much!!)

[whywasthissohardtomake]

fuck. I made the start of a post but i dont remember what was in it. OH! Jason saying, “oh, it’s not the monster you’re scared of.” Hurt my soul in unfathomable manners.

anyway, im kinda bad with names, but ms ellis (miranda) is who uhhh the french guy who met with paul (why do i remember paul’s name but not the more important french one) called up to accept the offer from i think.

also, fuck, why do i keep forgetting these urghhh. Idk. I found the whole conversation on killing jason to be really interesting. & yeah, jasons very fight right now. Which makes sense. Hes been fighting basically nonstop for 6 months with his 5 most trusted people & now all of that has been ripped away & he has no security. He keeps saying hes in a better position than when he showed up on palamustus (im definitely spelling that wrong) and while hes stronger now, hes still extremely vulnerable. And hes lashing out a lot. Which hes noticing & being upset about. But i also get it. If hed had this power on the vane estate that whole thing wouldve gone very different.

oh my god. DONT TRY & KILL JASON MIRANDA. ITS GONNA GO REAAAAAALLY BAD.

whos the outworlder??? I gotta knooooowwww. IS IT SOPHIE OR BELINDA??? WHOOOOOOO PADMA??? FARRAH FARRAH FARRAH OH MY GOD ITS FARRAHHHHHH YEEEEEEEESSSSS

Ur strength isnt the isssuuue buddy. U need more friends!! I found the “gotta get stronger” mindset fine, but now im worried its hampering jasons ability to find more helpful paths.

GOD DAMN IT JASON!! STOP KILLING PEOPLE. :(((((. My lad really does need to stop. If nothing else than as a training exercise in dealing nonlethal damage.

also they really did just kill miranda. Thats fun.

jason flying off the handle was so funny & good. I loved it. He really has been thru the wringer.

damn im loving these books. AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY FARRAH IS ALIVE I LOVE HER

as always, pls no spoilers!!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

jason being territorial about colin is soooo cute. & rufus realizing that everything that jason is doing rn is a facade hes desperately holding onto is fantastic.

rufus & vincents relationship is also really cute! I hope they stay together & maybe get more serious. I wanna see how that develops.

though im a belindaxsophie guy, belinda & jory’s relationship is super cute as well. I love jory & belinda dearly & i think theyre sweet together (even if belinda & sophie have more chemistry)

jason’s true feelings breaking thru every once and a while but much more because hes just gone thru some heavy trauma is really interesting to see.

unrelated: the fact that carlos’ soul is apparently a sparkly apple brings me immense joy.

clive being indignant that carlos gets to study jason & he doesnt is so funny. Like sorry buddy, no studies for you.

also I love that Jason's trauma isn't being glossed over. his flashback during the skill book reading. :((( poor guy

also beard?? Ill have to take that into consideration. Also jason is absolutely team leader neil.

long enough post now, so as always, pls no spoilers!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

some arts.

Sometimes angles r hard. Pls dont be mean 🫠😔

[whywasthissohardtomake]

Okay this is what I was able to find in book 1 for Farrah. It's not a whole bunch, but here you go

Farrah

The woman inside the cage was pretty with strawberry blonde hair and a button nose. She was clearly unhappy, although startling cute. (Book 1 Ch 12 p 61)

Farrah’s pretty brown eyes went wide.  (Book 1 ch 12 p 64)

When she was done, a large chest made of dark brown stone rose out of the ground. It didn’t break through the floor, but instead rose up through it, like a ghost. Farrah pushed open the hinged, heavy lid (book 1 ch 14 p 73)

Rufus and Farrah had the bodies of Olympic athletes—lean muscle filled with the power of coiled springs. (Book 1 ch 14 p 73)

Before sending away the stone chest, Farrah took out two belts with heavy pouches. One was grey, which she handed to Gary, the other red, which she kept for herself. (Book 1 ch 16 p 86)

Farrah’s summon was a pile of black and red magma with arms. “Lava that can punch you with a fist bigger than my head,” Jason said. (Book 1 ch 17 P 92)

oooo. Thank you!! Heres my current farrah design! Lmk what u think?

Also a silly jason sketch. God i cant figure out his hair

Oo! And a little shirtless clive ig lmao

(Ignore his lack of legs. I wasnt feeling it)

[whywasthissohardtomake]

jason’s a real dick to kaito & amy. & seeing insight into his high school years & kaito’s own feelings of inadequacy is very cool. & if this were told from either of their povs id probably be more sympathetic (& i am sympathetic to them now), but also, amy, you destroyed this man. You betrayed him in such a fundamental way that he went into a depressive spiral for 6 years. And yeah, you cant control his actions. None of what hes done is your fault. But you also cant make him get past such a huge amount of trauma. I understand that she felt stifled in their relationship. But unless he was actively emotionally or physically abusing her, i cannot condone cheating on him as a proportional response. He wasn’t a good boyfriend. And by becoming her boyfriend he became a shit friend. But a betrayal of such magnitude, especially knowing all of his inadequacies & insecurities surrounding his brother was such a heinous move, that i cant really fault jason for being such a dick. I can say that he should have more grace with them, but also he doesnt have to. Hes a dick. But hes got reason to be. Idk. I dont necessarily think this is a good way to cope, but im definitely on his side over theirs.

[whywasthissohardtomake]

Okay I’m bouncing all over the place with projects, so I’m having trouble finding references for various characters. BUT if you tell me a specific character you want to draw, that should give my brain enough direction to actually complete task! So, any particular request?

okay okay. I would say farrah, neil, and lindy would be my biggest. I cant remember what they look like all that well. (Also any jason references you stumble upon. Ive got him pretty down pat as far as writing descriptions, but hes my fave.)

also, thank u so much for doing this!! And if u have any clive (or others) drawing requests, i’d be happy to do my best!

[whywasthissohardtomake]

clive taking charge is wonderful.

THADWICK. THADWICK GHOUL IS GONNA TAKE THE SOUL NOOOOOO

THADWICKS EATING PEOPLE omg

also the planet where the astral beings meet is so cooool. Im loving this!!!

If the builder was raised up from being human is like someone else gonna become an astral beinf (jason?????)

why is cal fucking southern??

People thinking neil is weird is so funny. I almost wonder if hes playing it up slightly rn because jasons not there to be weird 🫠 because while he is just as strange as everyone else, the comments people r making r very similar to those made when jason was there. This may be wrong of course because we didnt get to see a lot of the down time during the 5 months they were basically just living in each other’s pockets, so potentially this is what hes been slowly becoming during those five months & is unrelated to the death of jason (my boyyyyyy 😭😭😭)

also sophie training ketus as jason trained her as rufus trained him? So cute.

also also, i love detective adam & erica, so good.

STASH ARE U USING UR DEAD FRIENDS BODY TO BUY BISCUITS WHAT THE FUCK

“You weren’t the one responsible with keeping him alive.” JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU. KILLING ME WOULD BE A MERCY. NEIL NOOOOOO

sophie saying shed be happier if everyone was dead & jason alive is fucking crazy. I love her so much.

all of the astral being world building is beautiful & wonderful & i love it

ALRIGHTY!!! We are at the end of book 3!! I am in no shape to do a recap & that project may never be completed as much as i want to recap the last 3 books. ADHD gets us all ig.

as always, pls no spoilers!!